Bye
#hey #hai #hay #drink #drinking #satisfied #woman #thirsty #actress #bye #hi #goodbye #reactions #food #emotion #people #celebrities
Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.
Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?"
She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"
Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!