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New jokes

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."