OH YES

Oh yes

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New jokes

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."