CAT DRIVING

Cat driving car

#cat #cats #animal #white #funny #drive #driving #bored #car #annoyed #travel #hypnotized #policeman #police #animals #color #feature #activities #emotion #vehicle #people #place

New jokes

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Unhappy day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"