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New jokes

Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.