How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!