HI

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Hi

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New jokes

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!