CAT IS SLEEPING

Cat is sleeping in the box

#cat #cute #cats #animal #sweet #white #cute cat #sleep #sleeping #lie #lying #tired #exhausted #beauty #flower #animals #feature #color #activities #emotion #nature

New jokes

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."