WHATEVER

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Whatever

#cat #animal #white #bored #boring #exhausted #annoyed #hypnotized #animals #color #emotion #feature

New jokes

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Mummy┬┤s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."