YOU ARE BORING ME TO DEATH

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Ou are boring me to death

#bored #tired #exhausted #man #annoyed #scary #sitting #bus #train #emotion #people #feature #activities #vehicle

New jokes

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"