Tired man
#bored #boring #tired #exhausted #man #annoyed #hypnotized #thinking #emotion #feature #people
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”
The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”
Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”
Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.