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New jokes

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.