DEPRESSED WOMAN
Depressed woman
#woman #girl #cartoon #frustrated #crying #depressed #sad #blonde #rain #thinking #people #things #emotion #nature
New jokes
Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
A SCOT'S TALE
One misty Scottish morning a man is driving through the hills to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a massive red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four, has a huge red beard and, despite the wind, mist, and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt, a tweed shirt and a tam-o''-shanter at a rakish angle.
At the roadside there also stands a young woman. She is absolutely beautiful -- slim, shapely, fair complexion, golden hair... heart stopping. The driver stops and stares, and his attention is only distracted from the lovely girl when the red thing opens the car door and drags him from his seat onto the road with a fist resembling a whole raw ham.
''''Right, you Jimmy,'''' he shouts, ''''Ah want you to masturbate!''''
''''But......'''' stammers the driver.
''''Du it now - or I''ll bluddy kill yu!''''
So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside, this doesn''t take him long.
''''Right!'''' snarls the Highlander ''''Du it agin, now!''''
So the driver does it again. ''''Right laddie, du it agin!'''' demands the Highlander.
This goes on for nearly two hours. The hapless driver gets cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw, is violently aching, his sight is failing and despite the cold wind, he has collapsed in a sweating, jibbering heap on the ground, unable to stand.
''''Du it again!'''' says the Highlander.
''''I can''t do it any more - you''ll just have to kill me!'''' whimpers the man.
The Highlander looks down at the pathetic soul slumped on the roadside and says, ''''All right laddie. NOW, can you give ma daughter a lift to Inverness?''''
Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."