Shocked mouse
#cute #animal #white #funny #shocked #frightened #mouse #sitting #feature #animals #color #emotion #activities
Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Google
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.
Boss: Well there is now !
Employee: How?
Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!