Mouse is eating
#cute #animal #white #look #looking #eat #eating #bored #hungry #annoyed #mouse #hypnotized #not sure #feature #animals #color #activities #food #emotion #reactions
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him.
At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”
The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”
Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”
Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.