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New jokes

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.