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New jokes

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."

Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.